Captivate Podcast: How a Pet Death Doula Supports You & Your Pet Through End-of-Life Care with Monique Brignoni | EP025

All right, welcome everybody. It's great to be here with you, and I have a fascinating guest here with me today, Monique brignoni, who is a pet doula. Now, I had not heard of this possibility before, and I started looking into it, and I'm really looking forward to this conversation today. So Monique, I'm going to give you a minute to say hello and introduce yourself and tell us, please, a bit about just what is a pet doula? Oh,

thank you so much, Deborah. I'm so happy to be here pet doula, who so you know, doula is basically somebody that takes care of somebody that's going that's either coming into this world or going out of this world. So I'm a pet death doula. So I support pets that are at the end of life the way it's done today. It's quite, quite old medical so basically, the end of life is a is a medical event has become a medical event, especially with pets. I'm also a human death doula, right? So a company humans as well, but I specialize in animals, because I saw that there's a lot of need there as well medicalize. And what I specialize is I bring in, I bring back the sacred into the dying experience, because that's a part that is really missing. And when we address mental, emotional and spiritual, then there's this kind of like a completion that happens. And then grief doesn't have to be, you know, carried on for years and years and years, you know. So it's really beautiful. Actually, I love doing what I do. Yes, yeah.

So it's a kind of transitional care for the whole family, the the pet parents and the pet and any associated friends who who might be in in that community, which is a lovely kind of experience. So I imagine many people are curious, how do you find out what the pets end of life wishes are if your dog speak, how do you know?

So you know? The thing is that we intuitively know when we're able to become and present, right? And so even with people, they may not be able to speak too much at the end of life. So even there, the important thing is actually to become very present. And this is the one thing that we don't do, because the moment that we that we have somebody that's dying, we start worrying, what can I do? What can I how can I help? And so we go into this mode that is, that is a doing mode. And in that doing mode we we let go of the most important thing, which is the keeping the connection, the love connection, that happens. In fact, that was one of my problems, because I started on this journey because my cat, Rami, when he died, I had, I was so connected Deborah, so connected with him. I knew everything, even you know, I just knew what he what he wanted to do at all times. And then when I was just six years old, and he was diagnosed terminal, and I just went off on a spin. I just, I just, I was trying to save him. I went in. I was just desperate. And the sad thing was that, basically, Rami died. He was at the vet. He was getting fluids, and I didn't even realize he was dying. I was out trying to find a cure for an incurable disease, and I got a phone call from the vet whilst I was on another phone call with somebody else to try and heal him. And the vet said, Come and then I went back, and Rami had just died on a cold metal table whilst I was focused on trying to save him, right? And so I realized that that's the one thing that is important to them. Rami hadn't stopped loving me one second at all moments, right? That connection from him to me was there, but my connection shifted from our love to my stress, and in the stress, we lose all connection. And so this is why I'm doing what I'm doing. I'm really trying to help people come back to that connection. And you can have that great connection, and you probably know this with humans as well, if we are present.

I noticed that you focused on intuition at the beginning, and as you were speaking, it occurred to me that really, whatever we know about our pets or our fellow humans during their lives is still applicable in their moments of dying the way it sounds. So had you stuck with your pet and not been running around trying to save the universe? Yeah. Have been a different kind of experience. Oh, yeah. So I think many people don't really think about it, that we don't like to think about how our last moments will be, and often we think, Well, I'm not going to know when that's going to happen, but if you do have the advantage of thinking about it and talking about it, I think everything goes a lot more smoothly and less painfully for people. I remember after my mother passed away, she hadn't made any of her wishes known in my dad and I puzzled over what to do for a long time, and it was totally unexpected. But after she died, he started to talk to me about what he wanted. Yeah, that's helpful to me after the chaos of of losing my mom, and it came up very suddenly after that, so we didn't have a lot of time, but, but we did have a peaceful conversation, and that's beautiful, yeah? Often, often at the end their lives, people don't want the same things they thought they wanted 30 either. Yeah? So, so that's a good you

know, with pets, with animals, it's more of a we, just like all of all of our lives, we have them kind of do unless you have a cat, which a cat kind of guides you on what to do. But, you know, usually dogs, I'm joking a bit here, but we tell them what to do. It's time to have meal, it's time to walk. It's time to go. You know, we're going on holiday and things like that. At the end of life, I always say that the animal is who got guides us. And so it's like, maybe they don't want to eat as much, or maybe they want to change something. So we are, we are trying, so we are suggesting, we are offering right? And if they don't want it, that's when we need to have the strength to say there's an intelligence within our bodies that created us from a little sperm and a little egg and created this amazingness that we are right, the heart that beats, the eyes that see all of everything that works in our bodies, we didn't create it. There's an intelligence within our bodies that created it, and the same intelligence also has organized the end of life. It has organized the entry in this life, and it organized the end of life, right? So if we are able to trust that an animal knows how the end of life is because the funny, the interesting thing is that as humans, we kind of like go like, all of our lives, we allow, you know, we come to the end of life and we go like, well, I don't know what to do, so then we give the responsibility over to the vets, right? The thing is that they haven't studied the end of life, they've studied euthanasia, or they've studied how to keep an animal alive, right? But when we learn about the end of life process, for example, then we then we're able to better help our pets, but also people, because it's the same it's the same process. It's the same stages that go for people and animals. But then it's that, it's that looking at at them to see what they want, right? Now, it's they are guiding us, right? So, for example, we say, okay, they don't want water, they don't want food. Usually, you go to the vet and the vet gives them something to something to make them eat, right? So it's like, instead of forcing when we understand that the end of life, when we understand that they that's exactly what they're doing, when we understand their mission, when they understand all of these other things that are not just the physical dying, because it's not just the physical dying, it's, it's a spiritual event, like I said, it's an energetic event, right? So when we approach it from all of all of the levels, we see that whilst the body is breaking down, that in order for the soul to leave the body, then there's so many other things that are happening, so many in humans and in animals. And here we're touching beautiful places that we would never think to touch in such a difficult, difficult moment, with my cat, with my cat, Ryan, I was all in despair. I didn't touch any of that right. But when we are able to be that calm, calm presence, and also know how the end of life works, so that we know at all times what is happening, whether to run to the vet, whether not to run to the vet, how to better support them on all levels, mental, emotional and spiritual. Then that becomes such a precious journey. Deborah, really a precious journey. Yeah, we have to remember that they're not like us. They don't have that part of the brain that is rational that goes like, you know what? I really don't like this. Deborah. I really would like something else. So can you please do this for me? Or like, you know, this is too painful. I'm just tired. I don't want to do this. I. Better be off. That doesn't happen in animals, right? We are the ones that feel that we have to take over in order to help them, right? I was just so moving in,

yeah, I want to ask you, what's the most unusual end of life request that you've ever handled, from from, from human or animal, or, well, from

animals, not really. I mean, it's just very, very simple in the sense that animals just just, are they just for them. It's just I'm, I'm they feel when they're leaving, so they know that they're leaving and they don't. They just don't need anything but our calmness the opposite of what I was absolutely right. And when we're able to be like that, then they, their bodies, know exactly what to do. They know what to do, right? So the animals don't really have many requests, and the people, the people, it depends people, it really depends on, do you mean the people that are dying, or the or the pet parents,

well, and any one of the above? Because I think people aren't sure what the scope of this is. So what, what would be an unusual or or a remarkable request that you might have ever heard, if you can think of one. Um,

well, a lot of pet parents call to ask me when it's time you know they want to know. They want to know. Yeah, when that when the pet wants to go right? And this usually comes from a subconscious belief that we all have in our, you know, in our brains that tell us that the dying is painful, because we are told that dying is painful, and from the moment that we get the diagnosis until until the pet dies, then it's like a stress of wondering, when is it the time, right? So some people just go with the vet and just say, Okay, you tell me when, when the time is and Okay. Other people call animal communicators. I'm an animal communicator. So often I get, I get calls to ask me, Can you tell me if my if my pet is ready to go? But one thing that I tell people is like, when you communicate with, when you when you do an in, yeah, a communication, basically the the message comes in frequencies, right? And then our brains translate that frequency into words, but it can only translate what we already have in our brain, right? So if we don't know something, it won't get translated. So when animal communicators that don't know the end of life process ask a pet, is it time, they might get Yes, it's time, because the animal says, Yes, I know. I feel I'm going there, they have no problem at all whatsoever in going they're just like, really calm with everything. But they might translate it. They may get the message, oh yes, it's time take me to the vet to do euthanasia, right? And so this becomes a difficulty, because we need to be able to understand this end of life journey in the same way that we would do with a human, and ask them, How would you like like you said with you and your dad that you were trying to understand, you know, what the wishes were that, if you can't have that conversation before, it's difficult, right? But with pets, we have to realize that they are animals, and they have they have different things than us. Not so different, because I think all humans and animals want to die in their home with their loved ones. The last place a pet one would think of wanting to die is that the vets, because they don't like going to the vets right in the first place, so, but we never think about that. We just, we're just so in the stress, in the same way that I was, as in, I need to help. I need to help my pet. And what I always suggest to people is like, you know, we prepare for everything in life, everything even an event, right? You look at the background, we probably put the right, you know, whatever. But the one thing that that is certain in life is death, and we tend to want to wing it at the last moment, right? And so it's like, let's learn about this. Let's learn what happens. Let's learn on all levels what happens, so that when it does happen, we can we can remain conscious, we can remain calm, we can remain present. And that is the best gift for humans and for animals, just just being there without with our beautiful presence and our love and holding. That connection. I say that we create these bridges of love across forever, because when we are in these higher frequencies of love, the connection stays even from the other side.

So it sounds like one of the best things you can do is manage down your stress as much as possible. So yeah, listen and find out what's really going on here and the best you can so I want to say how much I've enjoyed speaking with you today, and I'm sure many people are very interested in following up with you. So what's the best way for people to reach out to you? Well, I'm

on Facebook, I'm on Facebook, I'm on Instagram, and so my name might be a bit difficult My name because it's Italian, but I also have a website. It's called Animal Cammy. So not animal alchemy, but animal alchemy because I the other one cost $10,000 it was a bit too much. And I also have another one that's called pet wise dot world. And on that one, people can register. It's free. They can just register for free, and then they'll get a 45 minute presentation on death and dying that I created. So that's, yeah, that might

be generous of you. I'm sure people's curiosity has been aroused today. And thank you so very much for taking the time to interview with me, and look forward to keeping in touch with you to find out what's been developing on this front promising, and I think so important as we start turning inward a bit to figure out what's most important to us. Absolutely,

that's so beautiful. And so thank you so much for what you do as well. This is so beautiful and and the one thing I want to say is that I'm now trained pet death doulas. That's my main thing, because I really want to change a paradigm so that we can, we can, with the help of our animals, go from conditional love to unconditional love, and then divine love at the end of life, because we make that connection to the other side, and this is beautiful. So yes, thank you so much,

Monique, thank you. Thank you, Deborah, for taking the time.